Applause

This is a tough one. I’ve been criticized before for praising someone unworthy of praise, but I generally feel that applause is the balm that heals pretty much just about anything. You can easily applaud for mistakes in a humorous way (like if someone spills something), and it makes someone feel better, or you can applaud for someone who did a bad job (like a kid at a piano recital who screwed up the Entertainer), or you can genuinely applaud for someone who performed well (Barack Obama giving a speech). I’m not putting a whole lot of energy into this, but I can’t really think of a time that applauding would be bad other than applauding at the wrong time.

 

The system:

Applaud when someone has made a mistake and you know them well enough.

Applaud when someone feels self-conscious about their less than stellar performance.

Applaud when someone does a great job and you want them to know it.

Watch your language

I have massive respect for languages, and the range of what those languages can express. I also have massive respect for all aspects of the human experience, from the sacred to the profane as some would say.

Still, I can’t help but feel that a little taste goes a long way. This is not censorship, or anything. If you need to be vulgar, go ahead, just do it with care. The basic feeling is, if you’re re-using the swear words over and over again, that seems to me to be a little uncreative. It gets old, and while I’ve heard everything and I certainly am not going to die from hearing someone say something (unlike second hand or third hand smoke), I don’t necessarily feel good when people around me are using dirty language.

I know I’m opening up a major can of gummy worms on this one, so please feel free to comment.

Either way, the system is this: don’t overuse any word, especially the dirty ones. I guess this is a kind of “moderation” injunction. But it’s also a good system. If you train dirty words into your vocabulary, you may end up speaking them in situations where you shouldn’t, causing your other systems to fail. A question for reflection: Would you say this in front of your 3-year old niece or your 95-year old grandmother? If not, why are you really saying it? For attention? For an easy laugh? Because it’s become so ingrained you don’t even realize it? Or just because? If it’s any of those I would think that training it out of yourself would be a good thing.

It’s ok to use dirty language when quoting someone, but why not use the all-age appropriate “The x-word.”?

Sticking it to someone

Once you’ve established a certain amount of trust with someone, you should look for the opportunities that arise to stick it to them. Be loud, straightforward, intelligent, piercing, and sarcastic. Show them that your sticking it to them is actually a demonstration of your respect and caring for them, and shows them that you are comfortable enough with their intelligence that you know they will be able to handle it.

Languages

Visit Omniglot whenever you have a language question

Languages

Learn languages.